Why is forgiveness sometimes so hard to do? Well I came across this list online that I feel hits it pretty much right on the head.
- We're often reluctant to let go of our anger. Pretty self explanatory.
- We want to satisfy our sense of justice. Basically if we don't believe that the person deserves to be forgiven, then we're inclined to avoid forgiving them as a way of showing that we don't condone what they did to us.
- Forgiveness may feel like letting our offender off the hook without punishment. Again, pretty self explanatory.
- We wish to harm as we've been harmed. Like the saying goes, "An eye for an eye." Since it would probably be hard to do what they did to you back to them, you feel harboring this grudge and these negative feelings towards them as the next best thing.
- They haven't apologized. A genuine apology goes a long way. Not one of those half assed ones that you only do because you have to. If they don't apologize we feel they don't feel bad about what they did so why should we forgive them?
- When someone commits an injustice, we often cease to see or believe they could be capable of any good. This is the only one on the list I don't fully agree with. It's basically saying that once we get this bad experience with that person that we just start seeing them in a negative light all the time now. I think it happens a bit, but not all the time.
I feel that even knowing all of these are true with me, well minus number 6 really, I still find it hard to forgive. I don't know why really.
