Chivalry. That is a word that’s rarely used nowadays. Last semester in my Men/Women discussion class we actually discussed chivalry and what it constitutes in society today. I said that chivalry means being a gentleman and self-sacrificing. I was then asked by the moderators of the discussion what I meant by that to which I replied that it just means thinking of others, not only towards women. The classic example of being chivalrous is opening the door for someone or giving up your seat for someone who needs it more than you do. The question I asked myself today was does chivalry still exist and to what extent. I don’t think that chivalry exists anymore, at least in terms of how I define it. There is no more self-sacrifice in my opinion because there is always some benefit to yourself in being chivalrous. Most people act “chivalrous” because that is either the social norm or because it is the polite thing to do and they just don’t want to appear like an asshole. Think about it, in fine dining, the proper thing to do is the pull out the chairs for a lady and then push their chair in after they take a seat. Guys only do that because that is the social norm in that setting. They did it to gain favor from the woman showing them that they have class. I bet that if half the things people consider to be chivalrous wasn’t expected of guys in certain social settings that most would forget to do them. Maybe this is just the cynical part of me showing when I say chivalry doesn’t really exist, at least true chivalry.
It’s similar to altruism, which I just recently learned the word for. Altruism is basically the selfless concern for others. That concern can manifest in many different ways in helping others. I honestly believe that there is no true selfless action and that there is always some underlying reason for the action even if it’s not immediately obvious. It can be anything from trying to get on someone’s good side, trying to get a compliment, or even to just feel better about yourself. Again, may just be my cynical side poking through…
were there lesbians in that class?